Why even try? Your words obviously don’t resonate. Reach out. Go on. Stretch. Not pretty enough a setting. Ram-Stam. No time or inspiration to fix it. So just give up. Not kidding. If you’re not enjoying it. Just stop. Perhaps it is a question of style. Pay a fixer. Branding. USP. Go on. Throw money. Looks are everything. Not corporate enough. Personality required of course. Too much though. A stream of consciousness. A raw honesty, maybe they don’t get it. You. Gauche. Whimsy of the worst kind. Introspection bores them. Maybe you’re not right on enough. Maybe you’re just weird. Unoriginal. Or not original. How best to express is anyone’s guess. Not enough battle scars to reopen and share. Sensationalise then. Go on. Half the struggle being seen; the other, being heard. Screaming into the abyss. Casting that hook. Throat scratchy. Landscape parched. Shimmering horizon of hope. Echo. Echo. Echo. Plodding. Only bleached bones and cacti here. Water. Please. Water. Shield burning retinas. Walk forever and a day. Conclude. Come no closer to anything other than death. Rejection after rejection. Peers always doing better. Seem to be. No secret formula they say. Luck! Convince yourself. It’s tough love. Nothing personal. A question of right place, right time. When though. Ever? Is quality even a factor? Do they question this too? Head hurts. Retch. Answers on a postcard to Timbuktu. Days dreaming of trolls and negative feedback. A reaction. Least then. You know. Be pushing buttons. For better or worse. Raising interest. Profile. Empty retweets and mutual back scratching. Maybe the secret barometer. The key to being vacuous. Winning. Sociopaths. But we all want to be loved. Real love. Right? Or hated even a little bit. Real life. Isn’t anything less a trick. To want people to actually read you. Genuinely like your stuff. The world is fake. A blogger’s work is never done. Whoah, whoah, whoah. You’re taking this too seriously. Way to far. Torture for the soul. It’s just a journal. Hello. Funny meeting you here. Merry-go-round. Stop talking. Or start listening. You’re simply not good enough. Just give up. Go home. You’re wasting your time here. We’ve been through this. It’s busy. Home to bed now. That’s it. Off you go. Lights out. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow, Amigo.
[Image source: http://www.featurepics.com]
A Savage Joy 
This was AWESOME! Thoughts that have run through this mind almost everyday! Loved postcard to Timbuktu.
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Thank you Gina. So glad I’m not alone! X
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You are definitely not alone. My favourite bit of this is dreaming of trolls and negative feedback cos then at least you’re getting a reaction. Haha, I thought that was just me! You might like this: http://electricliterature.com/infographic-am-i-a-famous-writer-yet/
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Haha. Thank god you’re out there too! We’re not alone! Love the infographic too. Made me giggle!!
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I hear you! I’m sure most of us writers (and bloggers) have felt like this at some point in time, so I can definitely empathise. The key is to tune out the external (more difficult said than done, I know) and to focus on your own unique contribution to the blogosphere (regardless of popularity, post views etc.). Because, at the end of the day, there is only one, unique and wonderful you. 🙂
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You are so right but I think I would miss the interaction – as counterproductive as that sounds. I would like to spend a bit more time cultivating offline and entering competitions but we’ll see how I get on with a newborn on the scene! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts x
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Oh yes, this is a stream of consciousness very similar to my own! I veer between wanting more readers and thinking I should try and be a bit more… I don’t know what… different to how I am now… more extreme while simultaneously more normal, and then thinking I really don’t care and I’ll just be me. Who knows? (“how best to express is anyone’s guess” – exactly) The longer I blog for though, the more like-minded people I encounter and I love that. Thanks for linking to #WhatImWriting. xx
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I’m glad that you can relate to this writerly toil in the windmills of my mind. I just don’t get how some blogs become sooooo successful and other (great ones) remain in relative obscurity. It must be “who you know” or luck. Of which I seemingly have neither – lol!! Thanks for reading x
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Wow, very interesting. Enjoyed reading it. It almost felt as if you were in my head, reading my thoughts out. Fabulous, loved it. #WhatImWriting
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Thank you! It’s interesting (and so comforting) that so many participating in this linky can relate and be honest about feeling this way. Thanks for reading x
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Such a familiar stream of consciousness… You are good enough though. Better. You know that, right? Whatever ‘magic’ it is that precipitates online success is beyond my reach. Or maybe, if I’m honest, I just don’t want it enough to sacrifice who I am to get it… Does that make sense? Definitely don’t stop writing. Your words resonate with me 🙂
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Thank you so much! I hope you too find some release from the writerly downward spiral and avoid crises of confidence! Best wishes x
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I see your words, hear them, taste them and know them. Writing is the sweetest torture and one we’ll never give up upon.
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True Dat! Thanks for reading Jack
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This is incredibly familiar, I am just starting out writing really, but have so many of these thoughts going round in my head, it is easy to see that they might stop me forging ahead, with whatever path I haven’t yet decided that I’m taking. I hope they don’t. I like your honesty, glad to have found you on #WhatI’mWriting.
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Likewise. It’s a dizzying prospect, this writing malarky! Thanks for reading!
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I love it, I’m not much of a blogger these days but this is equally applicable to writing and perhaps a lot of things we do with our lives. The angst never seems to stop : )
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Thank you Emily. I think it drives us. Perhaps without angst we would be lost! Thanks for reading!
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Push those thoughts aside!! ❤
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Thanks Stacie. Trying!
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You can’t let YOU beat yourself with these thoughts! How many authors got their now best-selling books turned down by rigid unimaginative editors?
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True *screams* I just want it to be me!! Thanks for reading x
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Wow! That’s a whole lot of negative thoughts for just one post but I could relate. Best advice I got, just write!
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Might just try that! Direct my energies accordingly! Thanks for reading x
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What a wonderful read, I am so pleased I am not alone in these thoughts. It is so hard to balance and do it all. I spread myself far too thin. I hear you & I can fully relate. We can do this. x
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Thanks Susan. Great to know I/we are not alone. Yes. We. Can. (Though Bob the B – less Obama possibly!) thanks for reading x
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Ah yes, it’s good to know my inner monologue has friends! But isn’t there another voice speaking back and countering all the arguments – or why else would we still do it?
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Very true Carie. Both are strong willed creatures! Thanks for reading X
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This is a really great summary of my own feelings right now. I’ve only just put myself back into the blogging world after a long period of absence. I abandoned my last blog, and even writing due to feeling like I had no audience, nothing relevant or interesting to say. Even stepping back into blogging again now, I am already finding myself wondering if I am making a huge mistake. It’s good to find my own worries reflected by others.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts.
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