I thought I had got away with the winter blues this year. Turns out not. I’m coming out the back end of a few days of feeling like absolute dog poo in terms of low mood and the all too familiar pattern of feeling like I’m the most useless, unloveable, pathetic, hateful person, all being carried around like a rucksack of stones. Even when I’m notionally having a nice time, it’s still there being lugged about all the while. I sigh a lot. Stare into space. And tell myself that actually it won’t be like this for long. Experience tells me to sit it out knowing it’ll pass in a few days. Distraction techniques don’t work particularly well to alleviate it and the temptation is always there to try and keep busy to try and trick my brain out of it. Keeping busy is good in terms of passing the time, but given tiredness and boredom is often the trigger, plenty of sleep, fresh air and alcohol avoidance (624 days for me!) helps with the rational processing and ability not to allow things to spiral. I hope that nobody would take offence to know that there is nothing that cheers me up when I’m in it and the best thing to do is supporting my rest. Not always easy in a family environment and so often life must go on. Unless I told you, you probably would realise it was happening. No bad thing to keep a foot in reality. I know many of us get like this irrespective of privilege or poverty so not sure if this is a worthwhile share or not, but it helps me to process it when I acknowledge the struggle and may help you to know you’re not the only one if you experience this from time-to-time too.
Sending love and light your way for 2022 (despite appearances!) xx