For those of you who celebrate Christmas, I hope you had a good one.
For those of you who don’t, I hope you had a nice day too.
Santa Claus is my God and so this time of year is typically about celebrating by having a week or two off work with family, followed by lashings of indulgent self-reflection brought on by cabin fever and excessive red wine consumption.
You lucky people get to share the cabin fever bit with me, for I am still
in its midst.
I believe that it’s good for the soul to have a bit of an end of the year
Please indulge me in this, for I am actually scratching as I type.
Keeping it light, this will go down as the year that I finally admitted to myself how much I despise poetry (both writing, reading and the appreciation thereof); and also the year I got quietly annoyed about the various novelty bottom wiping books under our Christmas tree.
I mean, has anyone actually read “the facebook diet – a diet for social media addicts” or “102 things that grumpy old men say at Christmas?”
What about “101 reasons why dogs are better than cats?”
Or “fifty reasons why women rule?”
I CANNOT BEAR these books.
Zero thought or imagination goes into buying them.
I have a dusty thigh-high stack at home, non of which I have even opened the front cover of.
Let’s not even mention the poor trees.
I would rather have no gift that one of these bad boys.
Go and buy a proper book people.
Or just keep your money.
I hereby declare these books banned from my Kingdom.
Surely that’s at least “eight reasons why you should never waste your money on a novelty book.”
I have tried to get into the “zone” over the years, I truly have, but seeing as time on this planet is short and most poetry is excruciatingly bad, I am resolved in trying to avoid it from now on.
I realise that some of you love it (what’s wrong with you?!?) but I’m afraid it just makes my eyes glaze over.
Forgive me for the sweeping generalisation.
Yup. I hate it.
But before you come back and accuse me of dissing the merits of song lyrics, rappers etc etc, I’m not talking about that, it’s the more ethereal stuff that makes me scream.
I read the comments people leave for the poets, scratch my head and leave feeling dumb.
Do people really dig it?
The basic childhood lesson is that just because people say something is amazing you shouldn’t just go with it to become a part of the flock.
As an adult, it’s easy to forget this in favour of thinking being horribly pretentious carries weightier status in life.
How people have the energy to get on the same planet as some of the submissions and then have the reserves to meaningfully comment, I have no idea.
I just don’t get it.
Other than that, the Turkey was very nice and I stuck to my one mince pie a year rule.
We all need to vent sometimes and so if there is something bugging you at the moment, feel free to offload here. I’m fair game for counter on any of the above. I would love someone to change my mind!