Narcolepsy Sunday

Not really – rather, unexplained extreme fatigue as usual. Often misconstrued as laziness to those who don’t get it.

My 9kg weighted blanket is brilliant – it guarantees quick sleep: anytime, anywhere. My present to myself for one year of no boozing with the money I saved.

The proof of its quality: I just fell asleep during a church service on zoom to be woken up by a voice bellowing out from my phone screen, “we will rotate rooms for another ten minutes.”

Turns out I have been participating in a post-Sunday worship break out room/rooms networking event on zoom (fast asleep) for at least twenty minutes. I press leave call before I have to think any more about how embarrassing this is and if anyone had been trying to rouse me.

As I start nodding off, an 0800 number calls my phone. Probably a scam call. There is also a possibility that church has alerted emergency services to the fact I am unconscious and unresponsive on screen. I don’t answer, which could escalate fairly quickly if I’m correct.

There’s a buzz indicating a voicemail so, naturally, I doze off for another five minutes or so before checking it. When I pick it up, it’s not the ambulance service but my local beauty salon leaving an unnecessarily long and detailed message as to why my appointment isn’t going ahead on Tuesday involving the sudden unexpected death of the therapist’s father. This is all very sad to hear. I’m sad for her she has had to call at all to rearrange something relatively insignificant in the grand scheme – but am glad that she met with a generic voicemail rather my confused, half asleep and unresponsive self at noon on Sunday.

All this going on around me and I’m still static under my blanket. Isn’t the ebb and flow of life strange.

I really should get up.


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