Seeking some support & guidance

So this Friday I am heading out-out on the town with a great friend back home. My lovely party loving friend….

Although she seems/is super supportive of my non-drinking, there’s a huge part of me that is waivering about my own desire to give it some laldy and allow myself a night off the wagon. And I am quite easily led astray in the right circumstances. It only takes a second to say yes please at a bar.

It is fair to say that we both fancy an evening of getting all glammed up and putting the world to rights. She is single and ready to mingle after her CoVid drought. I am supportive of providing a wing-woman role.

On the other hand, I’m in a great place having done 438 days off alcohol. I’m not an alcoholic, just someone who feels better minus the social hangovers, hangxiety, dooms & bad decision making associated with boozy nights out.

I could just do one night off; but as I am a very all or nothing person, getting back to full TT after one successful night out would be hard. I think I’m pretty fun still sober, but let’s face it a drink is great fun.

Could I, should I, would you?

I guess I just need some words of guidance/peer support from you guys right now if you have any pearls of wisdom to offer x

17 thoughts on “Seeking some support & guidance”

  1. Tricky one. I used to smoke, and was delighted when I quit 18 years ago. But for the following five or so years I’d smoke when I had enough alcohol to make me weak for a cigarette or simply for old habitual reasons (the two drugs & habits going hand in hand), leaving me with a nicotine headache and a yucky taste in my mouth the next day – not to mention the guilt feeling . . .
    I would set myself the goal of not drinking tonight, to keep the streak, to not have that sore head tomorrow, to proof yourself you can go out & have fun & be fun without having a drink. Challenge the bars for mixing you the best non-alcoholic cocktail – so you won’t miss the shot. And then be extra proud tomorrow morning, sober, fit, happy!
    Have a great night oot!! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, I would have never guessed that you were a smoker in a past life – you always look and sound so healthy! Yes, the hangovers are the best thought to put me off. Brilliant idea for cocktail challenge! Thanks for your support, means alot x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha, there are some more things I’d rather keep secret about a past life … Have a fab night out, you will have a ball. And will al your thoughts before and the support you have been given so far, you’ll sail through it.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Short, sweet and to the point – as it should be! Thanks for the cheerleading, first holiday as restrictions easing was always going to be tough! Will carry these words as my mantra tomorrow! x

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I hope you have looked back at the reasons why you don’t drink and thought about it. I have obviously had loads of nights out and in with drinkers (as you will have too) and there wasn’t any point that I thought wow I’m missing out here!! Emotions go into over-drive, conversations become hard as drunk people do not listen to assimilate, they are just waiting for a pause to chat again. I find drunk people fascinating !!! Personally my health and well-being are great as a non drinker and I am sure yours are too! Your waist line, blood sugar, brain and liver will thank you too Im sure as you age more gracefully!!! I also think my running and cycling fitness puts me off drinking again! I want to stay Strava fit 😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s so easy, tempting to say yes, which is why saying no may feel wrong in the moment but so right after the fact. You have reasons why you don’t want to drink and to make the resolve stronger, maybe you could write them down and elaborate them on a notepad or piece of paper? Sometimes, I find it easier to stick to a goal if I have the reminder not only nearby, but if it’s also tangible.

    I think you have to do what is right for you in this situation, along with what you’re hoping to achieve either way (if you drink or don’t drink, for instance).

    You got this! You can do it. Whatever is right for you—that’s the answer. 🙂 I personally believe that you should stick to the sober goal as you’ve already achieved a lot so far with it. But like I said, you have to do what’s best for you in this situation especially as you know yourself better than any of us here. Have an awesome night. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Lucy, you taking the time to support and encourage me means so much. It can be hard to say the feelings out loud in “real life” and I love that I have you guys helping my internal monologue. I have published a piece today about all the little things I value when I’m completely present inspired by your suggestion – it was really helpful. Tomorrow night not so daunting now, more concerned about virus numbers in scotland starting to rocket again! x

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m not you, but I wouldn’t. I like Anja’s idea of challenging the barman / woman. Try and guess how they did it! See if you remain sharp through the evening.

    That’s just me though. I can’t tell you what to do, and remember – you asked.
    Good luck
    Have fun
    Give my best to your crew

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, Anja’s idea is awesome – think this could satisfy my need to be a little wild! You are awesome too, thank you for being there and offering up wise words to your fellow blogger in her hour of need. Will do! xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. By the time I read this, you will probably have made your decision. Even if you come off the wagon and regret it, you can immediately stop drinking again. I also find it very hard to maintain boundaries with food and alcohol. One glass never seems to be enough. My friend and I went out for dinner recently, I was not drinking (health check up) but then I wavered and had two Mimosas. I thought that was an okay compromise but I come from a family of alcoholics/tee-totallers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Kerry, it’s needlessly hard isn’t it?! Balancing the need to be a bit crazy against consequences that only make me feel crappy is a work in progress for me and I think always will be, but I never thought I would get here and it has been easy and wonderful to feel empowered by sticking to this boundary. I agree with you re: trying to go easy on myself if I opt to make a managed mistake but just don’t trust myself not to start sliding. I didn’t hate that girl, she was great, but she is feeling so much more alive these days and I want to cherish that. Thank you, as always your comments are so heartfelt and on my wavelength. Feeling so much better about tomorrow now xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am so glad I read your post when I did! My focus is terrible and I can go a week or more without looking at posts (although I would like to read more frequently). Last night I looked at the wine I had bought for a ladies gathering at the house this weekend (half of them don’t drink here in the Bible belt). I opened the Sauvignon Blanc and finished the bottle with my husband. Now I have a hangover and won’t drink for a few days. Then the GP phoned to say that my cholesterol levels are dangerously high (genetic) and I have to go on the bloody statins. I knew it was coming because of the family history (we are all thin, healthy eaters) and tried so hard to avoid it. Ah well, better than a heart attack!!
        BTW, my mental health is so much better when I stay off the alcohol. K x

        Liked by 1 person

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