I’m just in from what was my much feared first sober attempt at a crazy night out after 443 days of being alcohol free!
With CoVid numbers rocketing here in Scotland and only ten days until I head to Orkney on holiday, I asked my buddy if she would mind if we skipped out on hitting the city centre for dinner and drinks in favour of a takeaway instead. Super cautious I know!!
She was fine with that as like me, she has only had the one jab and doesn’t fancy being track snd traced! We decided to make the effort anyway for our night in and so wriggled out of our baggy loungewear and squeezed into our out-out wear, brushed our hair and put in some make up and a smile.
Now for the big challenge: project teetotal. I got well prepared for any potholes that might crack my wagon’s wheels; I went to the supermarket and bought a bottle of oyster bay wine for her and no-secco for me. I then drove my actual wagon the five minutes to her house rather than walking so I had to drive back. Of course the determined party animal can easily over ride any of this in a split second, but best give myself the best chance!
But as predicted, when I arrived at her house I felt really triggered, wobbly and in need of a real drink get the party started!
So in true fuck it style – I told my friend that I could be probably be persuaded to have a proper drink, but amazingly she told me I wasn’t to blow all my hard work on her account and that she was quite happy sharing my no-secco with me.
So that’s what we did over takeout pizza and tiramisu and lots of laughs (does tiramisu count as alcohol 😜 – making an exception for cake!)
I’m so grateful to have my good buddies around supporting me; admittedly I’m not sure I would be quite as supportive of her if the boot were on the other foot 443 days ago.
Being an enabler for others is something I can definitely change now in light of experiencing her generosity of spirit and understanding of my cursed self sabotage over awkwardness of actually just saying no.
Although admittedly, my approach was very wobbly, I stayed on track – all thanks to her really.
I also wanted to thank you guys for the wise, caring and supportive words you offered up to me when I put up my second to last blog post where all my vulnerabilities were surfacing about this first night out. There was real potential for slippage tonight.
That’s the first night done, I’m very tired right now but no doubt I will let you know how how great I feel about this achievement in the coming days. I need to make the time to celebrate this with myself! And find a thank you to send to my beautiful friend.
Sending my love and gratitude out into the universe to you all. For anyone else challenging themselves – say strong, it’s worth it xxx